(no subject)

[dressing]

[Dazai, of course, knows when Chuuya's birthday is. He celebrates in his own way--rigged wine bottles sent via crate, a watch that runs just slightly too slow, things like that. Underneath them, there's an actual gift that Chuuya might keep, if he wants to; the watch can be fixed, and it's a nice one (don't ask where Dazai got it), the wine is expensive as long as the trap isn't triggered (don't ask where he got that, either). This year, he's taken the liberty of breaking into Chuuya's apartment himself, bringing with him a decent bottle of wine that he's already had a few generous sips of. How many birthdays has Chuuya celebrated since Dazai has known him? Dazai had thought he'd be dead far before this one, but here he is.

He knows Chuuya will be home soon, lounges easily on his couch with his coat draped over the back of it. He's not going to hide and jump out of the cupboard this time; Dazai is too old for childish tricks like that. At least, today. Ah, youth; he remembers giving Chuuya an exploding pen one year, back when they were still in the mafia together. The ink never came out of that stupidly expensive shirt he was wearing.

The lights are off, because this is a surprise, right? (Not really, Chuuya will know immediately.) So he sit in the almost-dark, takes another drink from the bottle of wine. Dazai has never understood the difference between cheap wine and expensive wine, figuring that whatever gets you drunk the fastest must be the best. Chuuya, on the other hand, will appreciate it. Or so he says. Dazai still isn't sure it's not all an act to pretend he's more cultured and less of an idiot than he actually is.

But honestly? Waiting is kind of boring. He needs something to do, and there's still most of the bottle left.]

Comments

[indensity]

[Chuuya has been out celebrating with his subordinates. He's a little bit drunk, because they kept buying him more glasses of wine, though at least the long walk home sobered him up a little. He's tired, but he's in a good mood. He's planning to shower and then pass out, because he has the day after his birthday off as well, and he's planning to relax.

He's not expecting anyone to be in his apartment. He's not paying much attention, either, just kicks off his shoes, hangs up his coat and hat, and then starts unbuttoning his vest as he heads for the bathroom.

He freezes as he sees Dazai's silhouette on the couch.]

Dazai? What the hell --

[At least he recognizes him instantly, which is the only reason why he's not immediately getting ready to attack. Though he is ready to fight.]

If you have some prank planned, I'm throwing you out.

[dressing]

[Dazai, of course, knows where Chuuya has been. He knows that every year, his subordinates do something for him, because he's actually liked among them--not that the ADA doesn't do anything for Dazai on his birthday. He knows there was alcohol involved, knows the venue, knows that Chuuya probably had a good time, and that he's going to ruin that by being here.

And, he doesn't care. It takes Chuuya long enough to notice, to the point where Dazai does actually start considering jumping up and scaring him. He clicks his tongue, mocking disappointment.]

It took you long enough to notice. I could have been waiting here to kill you. [Maybe in the past, he'd have 'tried'. Just for fun.] Must you always think I have a prank planned when I come to visit?

[Dazai uses the term 'visit' very lightly, because he wasn't invited, and certainly didn't go through the proper way of entering the building. He'd had the code, yes, but everything else could very well be considered breaking and entering--not that Dazai cares about that, either.]

[indensity]

[Chuuya hadn't expected to see Dazai today at all. Of course Dazai knows what day it is, because he only pretends to forget about things like that, and Chuuya had expected him to avoid it, or at least avoid Chuuya directly while just sending him the worst gift imaginable. Though Chuuya still has that watch somewhere.

He unbuttons his vest the rest of the way, like he has no intention of letting Dazai's presence change his evening. They both know it will.]

I'm not that easy to kill even if you do surprise me.

[And he's not at all worried about Dazai killing him anyway. Even if he's one of very few people who actually could.]

You're always coming up with some prank to ruin my birthday.

[dressing]

[Of course, Dazai knows he wouldn't easily be able to kill Chuuya. Not without a proper plan in place, and he doesn't care enough to think of one; it's more trouble than it's worth, and he doesn't want Chuuya dead. Yet. Besides, that's not why he's here, although the wine he's had makes it a bit easier than usual to get distracted about his actual purpose, which is...

Wishing Chuuya a happy birthday? As if.]

Come on, it hardly ruins your birthday. You always have a nice little get together with your subordinates. You had fun, right?

[He makes it a point to let Chuuya know he is aware of the night's events, as always. Dazai shifts, stretches his legs out on the couch, and holds up the bottle of wine.]

I even brought you something nice. [Which he's already had some of, but still.]

[indensity]

I had fun without you, yeah.

[He knows Dazai won't care at all about that insult. That's not really the point. He steps closer finally, looking at the bottle of wine Dazai is holding up like he's expecting it to be vinegar dyed red. He'll definitely be sniffing that bottle before trying any.]

That's... Actually not a bad wine.

[He also doesn't bother to hide his surprise. It's nothing compared to what Chuuya might buy, but Dazai definitely spent a bit of money on it, which is surprising. Wine isn't exactly Dazai's favorite.]

How much did you drink already?

[dressing]

[Of course he had fun without Dazai, so it's probably pretty shitty of him to insert himself into Chuuya's decent birthday like he always does, but Dazai has never been able to resist. He feels oddly pleased with himself when Chuuya admits it's a good wine--not that Dazai cares--and shakes the bottle a bit, watching the liquid stick to the dark glass of the bottle before sliding down.]

Not half yet. I got bored waiting. I should have expected it, with how short your legs are. It takes you forever to get anywhere!

[He won't drink more, since this is supposed to be for Chuuya. It's just easier to deal with him at least partially tipsy, and it's one of the nights where Dazai is in a better mood with drinking rather than a worse one.]

If you don't want it, though, I have no problem finishing it...

[indensity]

[Chuuya walks over finally, sitting down next to Dazai on the couch, close enough to feel his body there. It's difficult to care about keeping up some pretense of distance when he's already drunk from earlier. He reaches over to take the bottle from Dazai, sniffs it briefly, and then drinks straight from it, before passing it back.

He probably should have found them some glasses.]

There's no way I'd let you finish my wine.

[But he doesn't mind sharing. He's still a little on edge, waiting for a prank, but... he doesn't mind Dazai's company if he didn't just come here to be a dick.]

And I like the thought of you having to wait around for me. I should have kept you waiting longer.

[dressing]

[Dazai doesn’t bother moving away when Chuuya sits down next to him, doesn’t try and kick him off the couch like he normally might. He’s a little bit on his way to being drunk, but not quite; surprisingly, though, Chuuya doesn’t snatch the bottle away and keep it, handing it back to Dazai like he’s fine with him taking another sip. So, Dazai does. He doesn’t bother with the customary disgust; they’ve done this in the past, and sharing a wine bottle doesn’t really mean anything. And if it did, Dazai isn’t in the mood to care.]

You think I was waiting for you? Honestly, you could have just never come home, and I’d have been fine. Grand, even. I’d have moved right in, tossed your stuff, and made myself at home.

[He sort of wants to ask how Chuuya’s birthday was. If he had fun. Dazai doesn’t, just drinks more wine and waves the bottle towards Chuuya.]

Somehow, you’ve made it through another year. I don’t know why that’s something anyone would celebrate, though.

[indensity]

[Chuuya takes the bottle, keeps drinking. Chuuya will probably be back to being pretty solidly drunk if he drinks even just half of what's left of the bottle, but he sees no reason to hold back. They've been drinking together too many times. And for some reason, the mood feels relaxed.]

I'm celebrating the fact that I've been spiting you by staying alive for another year.

[He passes the bottle back again.]

And the fact that my apartment is so much better than yours.

[dressing]

[The mood is relaxed, possibly because Dazai honestly doesn't have any nefarious motives. He's just... here, with a bottle of wine (even though he's already had a good amount of it), and honestly he's not sure why. He hadn't brought anything terrible with him--no pipe bombs, no poisons, nothing of the sort. And Chuuya is oddly relaxed, too, more than he should be when finding someone he hates sitting in his apartment.]

You should be celebrating the fact that I've allowed you to live another year.

[Taking the bottle, Dazai takes another sip. Wine isn't his preferred drink, but it's not bad; it's warm going down.]

Sure. Your apartment is more expensive than mine, but money can't make you any less of an insect.

[Insults that mean nothing, really, because they're always doing this. It's as good as a greeting these days, and Dazai has honestly done much worse to Chuuya than call him a few stupid names.]

[indensity]

[Chuuya will snatch the bottle back as soon as Dazai has had his sip. It feels good to share. It's intimate, but in some ways they always have been, in ways that somehow happened naturally before either of them had a chance to notice.]

As if you'd be able to kill me. You don't stand a chance, Dazai.

[It really is just meaningless insults. He'll still elbow Dazai for that comment, though, a bit sharply but not enough to really hurt.]

I don't want to hear that from a slimy mackerel.

[dressing]

[Dazai almost laughs; it comes out a snort instead, wine still warming his throat. There's some sort of camaraderie here when they aren't fighting, the same kind that used to manifest itself in fighting over arcade games, or betting on who could eat faster. It feels human, and that's something Dazai doesn't usually enjoy, but the wine admittedly helps.]

Ah~ I'm hearing some terribly annoying buzzing in my ear. A little gnat, maybe.

[He elbows Chuuya back, but doesn't move away. They stay touching, Dazai's arm against Chuuya's side. He doesn't know how to celebrate birthdays, but he does know things that Chuuya likes, and maybe Dazai can stand not being utterly terrible for a few hours.

...just a little bit terrible.]

[indensity]

[Chuuya is about to elbow him again, but then Dazai keeps his arm there, a line of warmth through Chuuya's clothes, and he changes his mind. Instead when he passes the wine bottle back, he uses it as an excuse to lean a little bit closer, seeking out more of that contact. He was already drinking a lot earlier, it's his birthday, that's his excuse.]

You're just attracting flies because you never shower. I should throw you in the bath.

[Dazai smells good right now, he thinks.

No, he won't mention that. He feels slightly warmer at the thought, in a way that has nothing to do with the alcohol, and he has to shove that down and away fast. Although sitting like this really is nice.]

[dressing]

[Dazai knows that's a lie, because he did shower. Not for any particular reason, of course. He takes another sip of wine, very aware of the fact that this is the most pleasant they've been to each other in a while, but he's tipsy enough to not care about pretending it's not.]

If you throw me in the bath, I'm taking you with me.

[He nudges Chuuya with the bottle instead of handing it back. It's a familiar, pleasant, fangless argument, and the lines of Dazai's body are relaxed, something he'd hardly allow with anyone else, tipsy or not.]

How old are you now? I tend to forget, since you haven't grown any.

[indensity]

[Chuuya isn't thinking about how comfortable this is. He's just enjoying it, feeling warm, relaxed, and increasingly drunk. Though he's definitely gonna snatch that bottle back when Dazai just nudges him.]

I'm not the one who thinks having to take a bath is a punishment.

[This time, he drinks for a bit longer. He's barely even enjoying the wine itself like this, which is a shame when Dazai actually got a good one, but everything else about this moment takes priority. For as long as it lasts.]

I'm older than you and you know it.

[By a few weeks. And Chuuya doesn't even remember the first few years of his life. Still, he'll hold onto anything that gives him an advantage over Dazai.]

[dressing]

[The way they're sharing the bottle speaks more of old friends than bitter enemies, but Dazai doesn't comment on that. He's too busy making a face and swiping at the bottle when Chuuya mentions the age thing, which is... annoying, because it's not like Dazai can contest a given fact. Even if a few weeks really don't matter, everything matters when the two of them are arguing. Much like children.]

Guess that means you'll get old and ugly before I do.

[Implying either of them will live to an old age. Well, Mori's getting up there, so maybe Chuuya's got a chance at it. And the former boss was pretty old, too. Anyway...]

It's not like it helps. You still look like a child.

[And Dazai's arms are longer.]

[indensity]

[Chuuya tries to hold the bottle out of reach for a second, not because he doesn't want Dazai to have it, but just because. Besides, maybe he likes the way Dazai has to lean over him a little to get it. He lets go of the bottle again.]

No, unlike you I actually take care of myself.

[Have you seen his skincare products, Dazai? He's got a lot of those in the bathroom. Some of them are just to counter the fact that he's frequently overworked, though.]

And you almost look like a corpse already.

[dressing]

[Dazai washes his hair with the same soap he bathes with. It's a bar of soap he picked up at the convenience store, because he simply doesn't care about the massive amount of products Chuuya has in his bathroom--who needs shampoo and conditioner and body wash and exfoliator and moisturizer and--whatever else is in those bottles and jars. Too much effort.

Admittedly, it does make Chuuya look halfway decent.]

I have natural beauty, unlike you.

[The wine in the bottle is almost gone, and it's starting to work its way through Dazai's body and towards his head, warm and buzzy. It had been a very good idea to start on this before Chuuya got here, because otherwise, he might do something to fuck this up entirely.

...not that he doesn't want to fuck up Chuuya's birthday! Of course that's what he wants, and the reason he broke into his apartment instead of just calling like a normal person.]

[indensity]

[He can hear that the bottle is almost empty now. He kind of wants more, and he has enough bottles he could bring out, but he kind of wants something else, too. He moves, throws one of his legs over Dazai's thighs, straddling him.]

I'd still look good even if I didn't shower for a week.

[He'd hate it, though. He'd be self-conscious about his hair, his skin, and end up grumpy because of it. But that's not the point, obviously.

The point is that now he can snatch that bottle, drink the rest of it, just so he can put it aside. And then he leans in. The kiss starts off slow, where normally they're rough from the beginning, but the mood has been more relaxed this time. They'll get there, but for now he's satisfied with just tasting wine on Dazai's lips, trying to draw him in, one hand tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.]

[dressing]

[Ah, there it is. Dazai was, of course, expecting it; he'd just been waiting. Chuuya is as predictable as always, landing right (literally) in his lap, a familiarly heavy warmth. Dazai doesn't bother hiding the grin on his face, letting Chuuya take the bottle without putting up the petty fight he normally would, because there are better things than bickering over something that's nearly empty anyway.

Like the press of Chuuya's lips. Dazai settles a hand on his thigh, feels heat through fitted pants, and doesn't complain about how slow it is. Wine makes him pleased and pliant; their lips move together slowly and easily, lazy, almost, as fingers in his hair make him shiver.

Chuuya tastes like alcohol, something he does about half the time they're together like this. Dazai licks at him, stays focused on his lips instead of deepening anything, and pretends he's doing this more for himself than for Chuuya. Because why would he ever do something nice for Chuuya on his birthday?]

[indensity]

[Chuuya likes the grin on Dazai's face. He likes that Dazai is pleased by this. He makes sure the kiss is a long one, eyes half closed as he lets heat start to build between them, enjoying the slight thrill he always gets from doing this. He's not trying to control it, he's never had any interest in that, and if Dazai wants to change things up he can. But Chuuya is content to keep it going just like this.

For a little while, at least.]

Since it's my birthday, I should get to pick one thing we do, right?

[He doesn't bother to pull away to say it. He just tips his forehead against Dazai's, relaxed on top of him. This already feels really good. Just being together does.]

[dressing]

[There's a snort, because even if Dazai is in a good mood, that doesn't mean he's intending on going easy on Chuuya. That would just be weird, wouldn't it? Although, Dazai might (will) let Chuuya pick at least one thing; it's just that making it an easy transaction isn't something he's accustomed to doing. And admitting to doing something solely because Chuuya wants it? Never.]

Ah, is that how birthdays work? Sorry, I was unaware.

[Their foreheads touch; Dazai's hand splays over Chuuya's lower back. This is a far cry from the way they usually make this a fight, but Dazai uses the excuse of being drunk.]

In other words, no.

[indensity]

[Chuuya is too relaxed to be annoyed. He should be, really. He'll blame being drunk, too, because he shouldn't submit this easily, but something about Dazai's tone sends a thrill through him, and he finds himself closing his eyes, resisting the urge to whine. Dazai's not in charge. He shouldn't get the final say --]

It's not like I was gonna suggest something you'd hate.

[They both know Dazai is in charge. Chuuya wants it like this, unfortunately.]

It's just one thing, Dazai.

[dressing]

[Dazai is always in charge. He knows it, and deep down Chuuya knows it, too. It's not that Chuuya couldn't resist him, and Dazai knows that, too. If it came to a fight, Dazai has nothing on Chuuya's physical abilities, even if he can cancel out the supernatural ones, and while Dazai is smarter (obviously), Chuuya's fighting far outpaces his own. Not that he's ever minded. It makes Chuuya a good attack dog.]

What I hate is the simple fact that it's you suggesting something.

[But... Dazai might relent. He's drunk, and he's not here to antagonize Chuuya--much. And it is his birthday.]

I'll allow you to suggest it, but I'm going to say no if I hate it.

[indensity]

[If pushed, if given absolutely no choice, then Chuuya might admit that when they're like this, he wants Dazai to be in charge. He wants to surrender that control to him. Obviously not outside of sex, though, he'd never trust the bastard (he trusts him with his life), but being fucked by him is different. His objections then are really just for show.

And because the struggle adds to the thrill.]

If you can handle it, you should tie me up. And make sure to at least bruise me.

[Though apparently he won't struggle this time. It's his birthday, he deserves to just feel good, right? And Dazai won't mind that he asked for two things instead of one, right?]