yokai au

[dressing]

[ Honestly, it's a pain. Yes, Dazai lives in squalor - his home a rundown mess - but he made it that way. If he's the one making the mess, it's fine; if it's some foolish rampaging oni, then he has a problem with it. Ah, all his empty bottles, broken... and his bed (which he only sleeps on sometimes, but that's beside the point) is completely ruined. At least he's taken care of the oni for the moment, but when he wakes up, they are going to have a thing or two to discuss.

How dare he! Does he not know who Dazai is? It was easy enough for him to seal the curse, not out of pity or a willingness to help, but because leaving it be would just end up causing more of a mess for him to deal with.

Maybe this will finally get him to clean up the place.

...

Ah, what a funny joke. Dazai sighs, kicks at one of the broken bedposts. ]

And how will you make up for this, hm?

[ He's talking to himself, which is not unusual; the oni has been out cold for who knows how long. Dazai doesn't particularly care, but dragging the body out of his home is too much effort. He'll just have to wait, give the man a piece of his mind, and demand compensation. ]

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[indensity]

[It's the kick that finally wakes him. He'd been starting to come to, and at the familiar thud his instincts take over - he moves before he even opens his eyes. He grabs the leg, yanks, and then throws himself at this stranger, this threat, intending to knock him over.]

Who the hell are you?!

[He grabs the stranger by the throat, claws digging in slightly, a threat.]

If you think you can sneak up on me while I'm sleeping --

[His brain is starting to wake up, too, and he seems to register a bit more about his surroundings. He frowns.]

Where the hell am I?!

[dressing]

[ Ah, ah, ah. He's still got that much energy? Dazai looks entirely unphased at the hand on his throat; in fact, he looks a bit annoyed, but that's all. Not angry, not threatened. Bored and annoyed. ]

You didn't get enough of rampaging the first time? Are you really that much of a beast?

[ Sneaking up on him while he was sleeping? As if. Dazai does not need to sneak up on anyone. ]

Look around you, take a moment to actually think, though I'm sure it's hard for you. This is certainly not your home, so it must be mine, right? And look at the state it's in.

[ Okay, a lot of that is Dazai's own fault, the dirt and dust and bottles. But the broken things are entirely not his fault. ]

[indensity]

If you're trying to trick me into looking away, it won't be enough to save you.

[He sounds confident that he'd win any fight. He is confident. Which is why he does look around, turning his head as much as he can without letting go of this stranger.

It's completely unfamiliar. The place is trashed, so someone's clearly been fighting here, but there's enough left standing to tell him he's never been there before. At least from what he can remember. And it's clearly lived in, judging by the bottles, which means Chuuya would never have chosen to crash there for the night. He frowns, trying to remember, and failing to come up with much that would explain this situation at all.]

I was -- Why am I here? [He mentioned a rampage? Wait - ] Don't tell me someone like you managed to stop me?

[dressing]

[ Well, that's rude. ]

Of course you don't remember, I couldn't expect someone with your observational skills to retain that information.

[ Dazai still hasn't bothered to try and break out of the hold. For once, he is entirely innocent here. He reaches out and jabs Chuuya's torso with his hand. ]

This is the thanks I get for sealing your curse? A trashed home, accusations, and a hand around my throat. I could have killed you instead, you know.

[ Though that probably would have been more effort than it was worth, because as much as Dazai would hate to admit it, the oni's strength had been rather inconvenient. But while he'd been knocked out? It would have been simple.

But that wouldn't have fixed Dazai's bed. ]

[indensity]

[The jab doesn't bother him. He's already determined that the stranger isn't out to kill him, and the mention of a curse has him immediately distracted. He barely reacts to anything else that he says, not for several moments.]

The curse actually stuck...?

[He looks horrified for a second. A few vague memories escape through the fog in his head, mentions of a curse, and feelings of intense anger. He does remember fighting. He remembers not being able to stop. If he got angry, he hadn't been able to stop, not until he passed out, and then it would repeat. But it all feels like trying to remember something that happened to someone else.]

And you sealed it?

[He lets go of his neck finally, sits up so he can look down at his own body. There's bandages wrapped around him - but he can feel the power within them.]

With that? Who the hell even are you?

[dressing]

[ Dazai's brow lifts slightly, as though dully amused by how slow this man is. Of course the curse stuck. It's a strong one, too; one Dazai can't dispel, but only seal. Then again... he hadn't tried all that hard. He is not feeling particularly generous after the state of his home. And the curse seems more of a pain than it's worth, risking the same out-of-control rampage that had led to the mess in the first place.

He sighs, reaches down and rubs at his neck. That wasn't tight enough to kill at all. ]

Of course I sealed it. Who else do you think did it? You?

[ Dazai sounds utterly disdainful. Hands on his hips, he tuts. ]

How rude can you be? Coming into my home - well, look at it now - and demanding to know who I am? I was minding my own business nicely enough until you came along and made a mess. You should be embarrassed; I would be.

[indensity]

[Something about this guy's tone just immediately gets to Chuuya. He wants to rip out his throat after all, make him regret each and every one of those words. If he didn't still feel so bone tired, he might have.

But anger is exhausting, and the guy has a point, unfortunately. Chuuya lets out a frustrated sound and then pulls back, standing up to take a closer look at the place they're in. It's a mess. It looks like the kind of mess that was messy even before it was wrecked, but he doesn't point that out. Not yet. There's really nothing to distract him from the situation. He walks over to pick up a bottle that somehow survived his rampage, but there's nothing in it, so he just places it back and turns back around towards the stranger.]

Whatever that curse is, it fucked with my memories, too.

[Or maybe that's just the exhaustion. His brain feels like it's made of fog.]

Sorry about your place. When I kill whoever cursed me, I'll throw in an extra punch from you and let them know they owe you a bed.

[dressing]

[ Arms folded, Dazai watches on. Yes, all this destruction (well, most of it) is your fault, he seems to say. He's expecting compensation. At least a clean-up, and a new bed. A better bed. A really nice bed. Not that he's going to sleep in it half the time, but he still deserves it. ]

Your memories are none of my business. The only person who owes me a bed is you.

[ No way is Dazai going to wait around for this guy to find whoever cursed him and demand they replace Dazai's bed. Where is he going to sleep until then? The floor??? Not to mention the plan is for him to die, so where the hell is the bed coming from? ]

[indensity]

[The stranger is right again - the curse and his memories are his own problem, and he shouldn't be dragging other people down with it. But it's hard. He rubs at the back of his neck for a moment, staring at nothing, clearly thinking.]

Yeah. Fine. I'll get you a new bed.

[He'll figure something out, he always does. For now he takes the mattress from the broken one and drags it free of the mess, kicks some rubble out of the way, and drops it where it can at least lie flat on the floor. It seems like it's mostly in one piece, though it's pretty damn dirty.

He'll grab the pillows and throw those on top, too.]

How long does this seal last? I don't wanna go out to find a bed and then accidentally break that, too.

[dressing]

[ Well then! That takes care of that! Dazai honestly has no investment in this idiot's well-being, nor in the curse he's been saddled with... although it might be troublesome if he goes on a rampage again.

...ah yes. about that. ]

It will remain in place as long as you're in my vicinity.

[ Dazai's abilities are strong, but so is the curse, and it's not like he's going to focus his entire energy on maintaining a seal on some fool wandering around mindlessly while he has other things to do. Like drinking.

He looks at the mattress. ]

...that looks terrible, by the way. I can't sleep on that.

[indensity]

I can't produce a bed out of thin air. I said I'll get you a new one, so I will, as soon as I'm able.

[If he sounds a bit annoyed, it's mostly at the situation... and okay, it's also at the tone this guy keeps using. He really needs to stop letting that get to him.

But if he has to stay close to the guy, that's a problem. Chuuya stops what he's doing and turns back towards him.]

How close do I have to stay? Are you gonna have to come with me?

[dressing]

[A moment of silence, and then a snort.]

Me? Come with you? I'm not moving from this spot. This is my home, despite the state you've left it in.

[He's lazy. No way is Dazai wandering around for no reason.]

This is your problem to figure out. I have already done you an overwhelmingly benevolent favor by sealing it. Quite the task, considering what a nasty curse it is. Who did you piss off? Ah, nevermind, I don't particularly care.

[indensity]

Then how the hell am I supposed to get you a bed?

[Unless there's a bed in the basement he can drag up for this guy, but he doubts it. Then he would have just said so. But since apparently there's no points in doing any work, Chuuya is going to stop what he's doing, and just drop himself down to sit on this dirty mattress. He still feels exhausted, actually.

But he's restless, too. He's never been one to hesitate once he's decided on a course of action.]

Guess you really wanted me close, huh.

[dressing]

[Dazai shrugs. How, indeed. They'll go into town eventually - he needs to stock up on sake - but he isn't going out of his way to help an idiot fix his mistakes.

...why is he on Dazai's mattress?]

Excuse you? You're stinking up my house, why would I want you close? Get off my bed, you can sleep on the floor, if you must.

[...maybe this is a bit more bothersome than he'd thought. He didn't really plan out having someone stay with him.]

[indensity]

You don't have a bed, remember? This mattress is already on the floor.

[So clearly he can sit there. And being told not to just makes him want to stay on the mattress to spite the guy, even though he won't actually be able to relax. This whole thing is a fucking mess.]

You didn't even tell me your name.

[dressing]

[ It's still a bed??? Kind of? ]

It's the mattress I sleep on.

[ Dazai moves over, and pushes his foot against this rude asshole's shoulder. Intruding on his space. Wrecking his bed (that he hardly even sleeps on). ]

Call me Dazai-sama.

[ Yes. ]

[indensity]

[Chuuya might be grateful to this guy for sealing his curse, but that only goes so far. And he's definitely not about to allow him to fucking step on him.]

No way in hell am I calling you that.

[He grabs that leg and tries to yank it, to make him fall.]

[dressing]

[ Dazai has to work to keep his balance; they probably look ridiculous right now. ]

What's that? Who are you addressing?

[ Yeah, he's going to be obnoxious about this, still trying to step down even while he wobbles precariously. ]

[indensity]

[He should have known that wasn't enough. This guy was strong enough to stop him during a rampage, after all. But still.]

Apparently I'm addressing nobody.

[So he'll just kick that other leg out from under him.]

[dressing]

[ This time, Dazai lands on his ass, and he is not happy about it. He's incredibly powerful, but physically? Well, he could probably stand to work out a bit more.

...but that's not the issue! Reaching out, Dazai grabs at whatever he can - clothing, arm, whatever - to try and drag Chuuya off his bed. Well, mattress. ]

I could kill you like that.

[indensity]

[Chuuya lets out a short laugh as the guy hits his ass. That's satisfying, and some light exercise always feels good, so when the bastard decides to fight back he only gets more excited.]

You really couldn't.

[He grabs onto the mattress with one hand, and then starts to push Dazai away with his foot. That's payback for stepping on him.]

[dressing]

[ Dazai is an all-powerful being. So of course he crawls over and full-body grabs his opponent to drag him off the mattress; at least he's got long limbs, and this guy is... well. His height leaves much to be desired. ]

I've decided to just call you Dog, since that's what you'll be as long as you're here.

[indensity]

[Chuuya might be short, but he's a lot stronger than he looks, and if there's one thing he knows how to do it's fight. He's not getting off this mattress - so he'll grab the bastard, and try to flip them both over so he's on top.]

You're the fox here. Isn't that basically a dog?

[dressing]

[ Excuse him? ]

I changed my mind; even dog is too kind for you. You're just a mongrel who destroyed my property.

[ He spits, because Dazai has the maturity of a teenage boy, despite being centuries old. ]

[indensity]

And I can destroy more than that.

[Since they're wrestling anyway, he'll try to get a good grip around this bastard's throat and squeeze. It's not much of a threat since he can't risk this seal on his curse being broken, but hopefully the guy will panic and forget that detail.]

I'm no one's dog. Got it?