college au

[dressing]

Dazai doesn't really remember how this started. One minute, he and Jouno were going at each other, snide comments and passive aggression, and the next, they're meeting up at least once a week to either study, or to fuck. Would he call this a 'friends with benefits' situation? Not really. There are benefits, sure, but he'd hardly call Jouno a friend except where said 'friend' can overhear it, because Dazai knows it would annoy him. Thus, not friends.

But there certainly are benefits. Jouno's not a bad lay, and Dazai doesn't really have the sort of personality that permits him to find a steady date, not does he want one. Getting someone to go home with him, or take him home, requires effort, and there's a chance of it being terrible; at least with Jouno, he knows what he's getting, and it's fun. There are spoken and unspoken agreements, and someone to match Dazai's terrible personality.

They're having one of those weekly sessions now; Dazai lounges on his bed, scrolling his phone while he waits for the knock on the door. He's got work to do for classes, but it's really nothing he can't hastily complete the night before with a good amount of caffeine, so whatever. This is much more important.

Comments

[pricelesstears]

It's there similarities that make it so Jouno doesn't ask. Self-inflicted scars are only interesting when he can watch a person unraveling at the seams. The rest? Well, it's a part of the lives they lead. Jouno has his fair share of scars from the life he'd been brought into, the most obvious of which being his eyes. They were the same in that they preferred not to talk about where they came from or how they got there.

Jouno has only ever cared about himself, so Dazai's problems mean nothing to him. While others might pity Dazai if they knew the state he's truly in, Jouno simply feels nothing. Dazai is a toy to him, like any other. He largely suspects Dazai views him the same way.

Taking advantage of the open mouth, Jouno slips his tongue past Dazai's lips, tasting him fully. Dazai's fingers are warm against his cool skin in a way that makes him shudder, and he realizes that his impatience is going to get to him before long. He didn't come here just to make out with him, after all. As enjoyable as that could be, it'd become frustrating in time. So with one last roll of his hips, he breaks the kiss, wiping his mouth of the saliva that threatens to drip, and rolls off of Dazai.

"Take your pants off."

In return, Jouno climbs off the bed to take the time to undress himself as well. He's careful with his clothing as he removes it, folding it neatly, the only neat pile of clothing in an otherwise filthy room.

[dressing]

Similarly, Dazai doesn't care about Jouno's past nor his problems. He cares about himself in the fact that he doesn't care about himself, the way everything feels like it revolves around his own inner disgust and how much he would like to erase his own existence, were it not inconvenient to others. Jouno, for one, wouldn't care, and Dazai knows that. He's safe. Dangerous, but safe. Dazai doesn't want pity, and he doesn't want to be analyzed. Jouno won't pity him, and Dazai is confident in his ability to elude any and all attempts to unravel him. None of the therapists he'd been to as a child had been able to do so; he's not going to break his streak for some guy who is really good in bed.

He doesn't relinquish his mouth without taking something in return; Dazai's teeth catch on Jouno's tongue before he pulls away, and Dazai watches with an expression half-disappointed, but he knows it's not ending there.

"What, you don't want to shred my pants, too? Make it a matching set with the shirt you ruined?" Dazai is quick to go for the button and zipper, though, because he really doesn't want to lose his pants, and he knows Jouno would do it out of spite. He shrugs out of the remains of the shirt, too, not bothering to fold them the way Jouno does.

[pricelesstears]

"I will grab the knife again," Jouno replies simply, because Dazai is right. He would gladly destroy more clothing -- or anything else in Dazai's room -- out of spite. Dazai is not the kind of person who cares about things, but even so, it's an annoyance, and if an annoyance is all Jouno can be to him, he will be exactly that.

He unzips and peels off his pants as well, folding those to neatly place with his shirt. "Where's the lube?" He should know Dazai's room well enough by now, but there's never any guarantee that things will be in the same spot that they were last time. "I want a beer, too."

It isn't entirely for himself to drink, obvious to Dazai most likely because Jouno very rarely gets drunk. He'll take a sip of it, and then cut Dazai and pour the rest of the alcohol over the wound.

[dressing]

Sometimes, Dazai asks himself why he does this when Jouno can be so utterly annoying--but then he realizes he's the exact same way, so he really has no room to talk. And nobody can get him the way Jouno can, mostly because there's nobody who would be willing to be as sadistic.

"The lube..." Dazai hums as though thinking, trying to recall where he'd put it last. He plucks it from under a stack of textbooks, finally, tosses it directly at Jouno, uncaring of whether he'll catch it or not. If it hits him, then good.

He knows very well what the beer is likely for, but Dazai gets it for him anyway, and then one for himself. He does like to get drunk, but one beer will hardly do anything for him. "Aren't I an excellent host?"

[pricelesstears]

Jouno catches it by calculating the trajectory of it by the sound it makes. It'd have been impossible to do without his senses being as strong as they are, but since he's improved them, he's been able to 'see' most things. That includes things being tossed at him, especially when he knows they're coming.

He flips open the cap and smells it to determine if it's what he bought last time. Unscented. He determines that it is. Good, it won't be an annoyance to smell during the act like some lube can be. When the scent is too overwhelming, sex can become unenjoyable. As good as his senses are, they're a detriment at times.

"An excellent host would have cleaned his room," Jouno retorts, taking the beer from Dazai's hand. He sets it on Dazai's nightstand so he knows where it is, but not before knocking something off -- a book, from the sound of it.

Finally removing his boxers, Jouno climbs back into the bed once he's completely nude. Dazai's sheets probably aren't clean, he notes with some distaste, and he tries not to think about it.

[dressing]

In the past, Dazai has intentionally bought scented lube because he'd known it would annoy Jouno. Not a particularly good idea, but that's the sort of person Dazai is. He hasn't done it since, because he does actually want to have sex, and pissing Jouno off enough to make him leave isn't the goal. Just to have a bit of fun.

"My room is clean." Dazai opens his beer and takes a sip, and then climbs onto the bed with it balanced in his hand. He's careful not to spill, but if he does, it's really not a big deal. Dazai's sheets have been through worse. "There are just some books here and there. A few empty bottles. Completely normal."

It would probably be better doing this at Jouno's place, but he does have that roommate of his, and so this is less complicated.

[pricelesstears]

"Our definitions of clean seem to be as different as always," Jouno remarks with a click of his tongue. Even one empty bottle would have been too many for Jouno's taste. His side of the room is always pristine, in part because it's easier to find things that way and in part because he's simply that particular. He likes having everything in line, orderly.

Dazai's room isn't his ideal location, but it's better than having to explain to Tetchō why he has weekly company. While there were people on campus who had made the mistake of assuming Dazai and Jouno were friends based on the fact that they were sometimes seen together, no one knew about their actual arrangement. Jouno prefers to keep it that way.

"Hurry up and drink." If an eyeroll could be a tone, it would be the one Jouno has. "Then lie back down. I don't care for foreplay today." Unlike Dazai, he'd finished his homework for the week, but it didn't mean that he didn't have things he still wanted to get done.

[dressing]

Jouno is far too clean, in Dazai's opinion. A bit of mess adds character, right? And it has to be exhausting, cleaning all the time, when Dazai hardly wants to get out of bed most mornings. This is honestly better than it's been in the past, so someone ought to praise him, or something. Someone who absolutely isn't Jouno, because anything resembling kindness from a person like him would be terrifying.

"Impatient." Dazai tsks, but he takes a long sip of his drink before setting it aside. He's in the mood to listen rather than fight, so he lies back down, licking the bitterness from his lips. "So you just want to get right down to fucking? I thought you were going to take your week out on me?"

Dazai doesn't really care either way tonight, as long as he gets off, but it's always nice when it goes longer. Not that Dazai really minds Jouno using him as an outlet for whatever; they use each other, and that's good enough for him. No feelings involved.

[pricelesstears]

"Oh, I fully intend to do just that," Jouno assures him, a wicked smile on his face. Cruel as it is, it isn't unnatural -- most of Jouno's smiles are unsettling in some way. He shifts from his spot on the bed, moving to crawl over Dazai and straddle him once more.

He runs his hands over Dazai's stomach and chest. He's scrawnier that Jouno would have liked -- he'd always had a thing for more muscular men, and Dazai is definitely not that -- but he'll do well enough. They've been at this enough times before that Jouno knows exactly what to expect when it comes to the other. "I'll cut you during, if you want," he offers, one hand snaking up to wrap around Dazai's throat. "Or choke you until you pass out." Both options held their appeal for Jouno, though Dazai didn't struggle against him quite like Jouno preferred.

Finding that, unfortunately, is too dangerous a game for Jouno to play. The desire to completely break someone under his touch would have to go unfulfilled. He could only hope to mimic it.

[dressing]

If Dazai isn't exactly Jouno's type, then Jouno isn't Dazai's. If he has a type; he'll pretty much sleep with anyone interesting, though doing it more than once isn't a common occurrence. Jouno is just the sort of fucked up he is, though, so Dazai has no qualms about it, and certainly can't see feelings developing between them, so it's safe. Perhaps not physically safe, though, but Dazai's self-preservation is practically nonexistent.

"You know I hate it when you hurt me." It's a lie, and they both know it, even without the lazy way Dazai says it. He arches his head back, exposes the line of his neck to Jouno's hand. He's admittedly good at what he does; maybe that's why they're still at this. Dazai has yet to find anyone else willing to go as far as Jouno does, and unconcerned about Dazai's own safety.

He doesn't think he'd mind if Jouno were actually able to break him, but it's precisely because Dazai doesn't care that doing so would probably be a difficult thing. And then they wouldn't get to have this sort of fun, which would be so disappointing.

[pricelesstears]

"I'd enjoy it more if that were true." If Dazai truly hated being hurt, then hurting him would be all the more exciting. As it is, he knows that part of Dazai craves such a thing.

Jouno takes the exposure as a sign to wrap his fingers around Dazai's neck, squeezing it more tightly. "You'd be relieved if I were to kill you right now. You want that a little, don't you? For me to snap and finally end your miserable existence?"

His traces a long line from Dazai's chest to his stomach with his free hand, moving past it to grip his dick. He doesn't care much for Dazai's pleasure in the entire thing, though he will get him off simply because their arrangement hinges on him doing so. Dazai wouldn't continue if he wasn't getting anything out of it, the same way that Jouno wouldn't have continued if he wasn't. They're both self-serving in that way.

[dressing]

The short laugh Dazai gives is muted by the fingers around his neck; Jouno really does have him pinned so well. The truth is that yes, Dazai wouldn't care if something did happen, if Jouno snapped--maybe someday--and really did it, if something went wrong and Dazai simply didn't wake up. Yes, he'd love if his miserable existence was ended.

"I'm not that lucky," Dazai says, voice strained, rolling his hips up when Jouno's hand touches his dick. "You're too invested in yourself to do it."

Jouno is the top of his class. He's brilliant, and has an obvious future laid out for him. Snapping and murdering his fuckbuddy doesn't seem like it would benefit him in the least, which is why Dazai isn't worried about this going too far--and even if he should be, he doesn't care either way. Whatever happens happens; it's not like Dazai is looking ahead to the future, or anything.

[pricelesstears]

Dazai isn't wrong. Jouno is too invested in himself, in his success, to go through with ever truly hurting him. He'd have to satisfy himself with getting dangerously close instead. It's fine, though, Jouno thinks -- the hurt and all that comes with it is considerably more interesting than death itself.

"I could make it look like a suicide, but I doubt anyone would ever believe you'd succeeded." Dazai had more failures in that department than Jouno could count. Pathetic, really -- taking one's own life shouldn't be that difficult. Dazai, in Jouno's opinion, is a coward, though. He's fascinated with the idea of death, but he can never bring himself to quite pull the trigger.

It really would be a blessing if someone were to do it for him.

His hand is slow in pumping Dazai's dick as he finally lets go of Dazai's neck. It won't be for long -- he'll choke him with both hands before the night is over -- but it's long enough to get the lube, popping the bottle open. He has to stop touching Dazai completely to smear it over his fingers, a wrinkle of his nose conveying just how much he hates the sensation. A necessary evil. As much as he didn't care about hurting Dazai, he did care about his own discomfort.

Once his fingers are covered, he slips his hand back down, this time in between Dazai's legs to tease at his entrance, one finger circling his hole.

[dressing]

It's true; Dazai ending up dead in an apparent suicide would make people more suspicious than anything. It's an interesting thought, though, and he hums as he considers it, though the sound catches rough in his throat. Dazai's eyes flutter closed, but he's far from passing out just from this; instead, he's enjoying the hand on his dick, only opening his eyes to frown when the friction of Jouno's hand is gone.

Ah, lube, then. Dazai doesn't particularly care if it hurts or not, and he knows Jouno doesn't either. The look on Jouno's face, the wrinkle of his nose, is a bit cute, if Dazai were into guys like this. Which he's not. Jouno is a good fuck, but god forbid Dazai ever want to date him.

The expression on Dazai's face doesn't change when Jouno's hand comes back down, presses against his entrance. He's used to it, shifts his hips to spread his legs a bit more. He's not expecting foreplay here, but he doesn't want it, either; that's too soft, too pleasant, too nice. Nothing about either of them is nice. That's why Dazai likes it.

"Go ahead. If anyone were to kill me, it ought to be you. You've earned it." He says it with nonchalance, reaching down to wrap his hand around his dick, picking up where Jouno had left off.