college au

[dressing]

Dazai doesn't really remember how this started. One minute, he and Jouno were going at each other, snide comments and passive aggression, and the next, they're meeting up at least once a week to either study, or to fuck. Would he call this a 'friends with benefits' situation? Not really. There are benefits, sure, but he'd hardly call Jouno a friend except where said 'friend' can overhear it, because Dazai knows it would annoy him. Thus, not friends.

But there certainly are benefits. Jouno's not a bad lay, and Dazai doesn't really have the sort of personality that permits him to find a steady date, not does he want one. Getting someone to go home with him, or take him home, requires effort, and there's a chance of it being terrible; at least with Jouno, he knows what he's getting, and it's fun. There are spoken and unspoken agreements, and someone to match Dazai's terrible personality.

They're having one of those weekly sessions now; Dazai lounges on his bed, scrolling his phone while he waits for the knock on the door. He's got work to do for classes, but it's really nothing he can't hastily complete the night before with a good amount of caffeine, so whatever. This is much more important.

Comments

[dressing]

Jouno is far too clean, in Dazai's opinion. A bit of mess adds character, right? And it has to be exhausting, cleaning all the time, when Dazai hardly wants to get out of bed most mornings. This is honestly better than it's been in the past, so someone ought to praise him, or something. Someone who absolutely isn't Jouno, because anything resembling kindness from a person like him would be terrifying.

"Impatient." Dazai tsks, but he takes a long sip of his drink before setting it aside. He's in the mood to listen rather than fight, so he lies back down, licking the bitterness from his lips. "So you just want to get right down to fucking? I thought you were going to take your week out on me?"

Dazai doesn't really care either way tonight, as long as he gets off, but it's always nice when it goes longer. Not that Dazai really minds Jouno using him as an outlet for whatever; they use each other, and that's good enough for him. No feelings involved.

[pricelesstears]

"Oh, I fully intend to do just that," Jouno assures him, a wicked smile on his face. Cruel as it is, it isn't unnatural -- most of Jouno's smiles are unsettling in some way. He shifts from his spot on the bed, moving to crawl over Dazai and straddle him once more.

He runs his hands over Dazai's stomach and chest. He's scrawnier that Jouno would have liked -- he'd always had a thing for more muscular men, and Dazai is definitely not that -- but he'll do well enough. They've been at this enough times before that Jouno knows exactly what to expect when it comes to the other. "I'll cut you during, if you want," he offers, one hand snaking up to wrap around Dazai's throat. "Or choke you until you pass out." Both options held their appeal for Jouno, though Dazai didn't struggle against him quite like Jouno preferred.

Finding that, unfortunately, is too dangerous a game for Jouno to play. The desire to completely break someone under his touch would have to go unfulfilled. He could only hope to mimic it.

[dressing]

If Dazai isn't exactly Jouno's type, then Jouno isn't Dazai's. If he has a type; he'll pretty much sleep with anyone interesting, though doing it more than once isn't a common occurrence. Jouno is just the sort of fucked up he is, though, so Dazai has no qualms about it, and certainly can't see feelings developing between them, so it's safe. Perhaps not physically safe, though, but Dazai's self-preservation is practically nonexistent.

"You know I hate it when you hurt me." It's a lie, and they both know it, even without the lazy way Dazai says it. He arches his head back, exposes the line of his neck to Jouno's hand. He's admittedly good at what he does; maybe that's why they're still at this. Dazai has yet to find anyone else willing to go as far as Jouno does, and unconcerned about Dazai's own safety.

He doesn't think he'd mind if Jouno were actually able to break him, but it's precisely because Dazai doesn't care that doing so would probably be a difficult thing. And then they wouldn't get to have this sort of fun, which would be so disappointing.

[pricelesstears]

"I'd enjoy it more if that were true." If Dazai truly hated being hurt, then hurting him would be all the more exciting. As it is, he knows that part of Dazai craves such a thing.

Jouno takes the exposure as a sign to wrap his fingers around Dazai's neck, squeezing it more tightly. "You'd be relieved if I were to kill you right now. You want that a little, don't you? For me to snap and finally end your miserable existence?"

His traces a long line from Dazai's chest to his stomach with his free hand, moving past it to grip his dick. He doesn't care much for Dazai's pleasure in the entire thing, though he will get him off simply because their arrangement hinges on him doing so. Dazai wouldn't continue if he wasn't getting anything out of it, the same way that Jouno wouldn't have continued if he wasn't. They're both self-serving in that way.

[dressing]

The short laugh Dazai gives is muted by the fingers around his neck; Jouno really does have him pinned so well. The truth is that yes, Dazai wouldn't care if something did happen, if Jouno snapped--maybe someday--and really did it, if something went wrong and Dazai simply didn't wake up. Yes, he'd love if his miserable existence was ended.

"I'm not that lucky," Dazai says, voice strained, rolling his hips up when Jouno's hand touches his dick. "You're too invested in yourself to do it."

Jouno is the top of his class. He's brilliant, and has an obvious future laid out for him. Snapping and murdering his fuckbuddy doesn't seem like it would benefit him in the least, which is why Dazai isn't worried about this going too far--and even if he should be, he doesn't care either way. Whatever happens happens; it's not like Dazai is looking ahead to the future, or anything.

[pricelesstears]

Dazai isn't wrong. Jouno is too invested in himself, in his success, to go through with ever truly hurting him. He'd have to satisfy himself with getting dangerously close instead. It's fine, though, Jouno thinks -- the hurt and all that comes with it is considerably more interesting than death itself.

"I could make it look like a suicide, but I doubt anyone would ever believe you'd succeeded." Dazai had more failures in that department than Jouno could count. Pathetic, really -- taking one's own life shouldn't be that difficult. Dazai, in Jouno's opinion, is a coward, though. He's fascinated with the idea of death, but he can never bring himself to quite pull the trigger.

It really would be a blessing if someone were to do it for him.

His hand is slow in pumping Dazai's dick as he finally lets go of Dazai's neck. It won't be for long -- he'll choke him with both hands before the night is over -- but it's long enough to get the lube, popping the bottle open. He has to stop touching Dazai completely to smear it over his fingers, a wrinkle of his nose conveying just how much he hates the sensation. A necessary evil. As much as he didn't care about hurting Dazai, he did care about his own discomfort.

Once his fingers are covered, he slips his hand back down, this time in between Dazai's legs to tease at his entrance, one finger circling his hole.

[dressing]

It's true; Dazai ending up dead in an apparent suicide would make people more suspicious than anything. It's an interesting thought, though, and he hums as he considers it, though the sound catches rough in his throat. Dazai's eyes flutter closed, but he's far from passing out just from this; instead, he's enjoying the hand on his dick, only opening his eyes to frown when the friction of Jouno's hand is gone.

Ah, lube, then. Dazai doesn't particularly care if it hurts or not, and he knows Jouno doesn't either. The look on Jouno's face, the wrinkle of his nose, is a bit cute, if Dazai were into guys like this. Which he's not. Jouno is a good fuck, but god forbid Dazai ever want to date him.

The expression on Dazai's face doesn't change when Jouno's hand comes back down, presses against his entrance. He's used to it, shifts his hips to spread his legs a bit more. He's not expecting foreplay here, but he doesn't want it, either; that's too soft, too pleasant, too nice. Nothing about either of them is nice. That's why Dazai likes it.

"Go ahead. If anyone were to kill me, it ought to be you. You've earned it." He says it with nonchalance, reaching down to wrap his hand around his dick, picking up where Jouno had left off.